Friday, January 28, 2011


Japanese people seem to think that all Americans have huge noses.
I know this to be false.

Mine is too small, and I have had to deal with horrendous boogers all my life.

My brother told me that he spends 8-10 hours a day picking his nose. I think I average around 12-13. My finger is constantly stuck up there because my nostrils are continuously refilling themselves. Sometimes I accept defeat and leave the bats in the cave because honestly, it sucks finding a place to wipe the really slimy stuff. My boogers are usually more of the old grandpa crustbucket variety, though. Those must be removed with as much immediacy as possible because I can feel them clinging to me every second they are in there. Unfortunately, it is only socially acceptable to pick with your thumb when we all know that god gave man the pointer finger for mining.

Eric said that there is usually about a ten minute period each day during which he breathes like a god. I have yet to experience such superior breathing on a regular basis. If anyone has a reasonable or hilarious suggestion to attaining a more commodious windhole, I implore you to make it known.

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