Monday, September 9, 2013


Hey everybody!
I've got a new job! I'm a temp at Amazon, and Iiiiii have a desk! On it there is a bamboo plant from Willie, a former co-worker/ hilarious muppet-person who is wonderful and also an Adipose, which, for those lesser versed in Doctor-Whoology is an animated blob of fat. Adorable. Thanks, Kamali. Colleen, my supervisor sits behind me. She is very sweet but, despite my limited time working there, decided to give me a dose of good-natured shit not too long ago. I warned her that I would exact my revenge...

Important to note for this story, is that the office I work in is furnished with sitting desks, but standing desks can be ordered. Colleen had been trying to get a standing desk, which comes with a taller chair that can be raised to the correct height. So last week Colleen went off to lunch and I wrote a quick letter from the 'Amazon Ergonomics department'...the fictitious place "where the desks come from" and put it on her desk.

Hello, from the Amazon Ergonomics Department!
Based on our records, it looks like the ticket you submitted for a standing desk has become outdated. But good news! We still have plenty in stock and all we ask is that you confirm your ticket number with the help desk to receive it. Please give us a call at 266-HELP to do so. Unfortunately, the raised platform chairs to accompany the standing desks are currently on backorder. While you are waiting we have supplied you with a back up standing desk chair. Your chair should be ordered within the next work week. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you!
Amazon Ergonomics Department

Everyone in the office was game to play along with the prank, insisting to Colleen that somebody from Ergonomics had dropped off her new chair while she was gone, which was actually a tall wooden stool I borrowed from the kitchen. When she finally gave into the idea that she was going to be sitting on a ridiculously tall stool for about a week, she got up onto it and attempted to carry on working, with even her knees raised above the desk. We were all cracking up and snapping pictures of her looming above her keyboard like an office Gollum. This is her right before I told her she'd been duped.