Sunday, June 24, 2012

Despondent



Good god damn gravy grapes.
Little dollop a mayonnaise, sittin' in the sun.
Not a single hunger pang at all. 
What a long time it's been that I have had the luxury of easy fullness.
I just want to sit and look blankly at blankness. 
I wonder if this is what rich people feel like.

I was floating around in the pool, unable to put together proper conversation.
My mother said, ‘do you know what your name means? Sea slug!’
It’s the first time I laughed today. Felt nice and strange.

I keep wondering if I am good at anything.
Should I try something and see?
Later, later. Give it a crack then. Just get a job for now.
Feel bad, you don’t have a job, you know. Remember those who need it for you. Get it? Got it! Ok. 
Guilt. That's a thought I can curl up inside of like a cat in a box.

Get out of town, do some drugs, make reckless decisions.
That'll put hair back on your chest. Balance out your job.

Remember something that doesn't feel like emptiness.